“Human nature” (flesh) drives our desire to want things that are bigger and better than what we currently have. This is why the desires of the flesh can be consuming if not put in their correct place. They are never satisfied, never content, and never satiated- all of which contradict how we are to walk in the Spirit. The same is true with our marriages- many people end up comparing their spouse to another person they know (especially in times of marital strain) and end up engaging in an affair. They forget that marriages take work, and it takes work to make it affair proof.
The problem is that the “grass always looks greener” with someone else, or in someone else’s family. It causes us to compare our spouse with another, and sows seeds of discontentment in our marriages. It hardens our hearts towards our spouses, and if left unchecked, it can lead to affairs- either physical, sexual, or emotional. The deceit that we fall prey to is that we can find true joy and fulfillment with someone else. We fall prey to the lies that our marriage was a mistake, that person understands me better, we are more compatible, etc. The reality is that the problems that we are experiencing in our first marriage will inevitably continue on in the second if we don’t address them. Remember, it takes two to make a marriage succeed, and two to make it fail.
In Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair-Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage, written by Nancy C. Anderson, she discusses what an affair-proof marriage looks like, and why it is crucial that each couple engage in these activities. Nancy explains how the “greener grass” is only a mirage, and shows how our own backyard contains all that we need.
Nancy discusses how to maintain an affair proof marriage by establishing and continually maintaining six protective “hedges” around it.
Faith Filled Family was blessed to be able to interview Nancy as she gave insight into her book, and why every marriage should put these hedges into practise. She explains why her book isn’t just for those struggling in marriage, but for every marriage as any relationship can be built stronger. She gives insight as to why people have affairs, and how to build strong marriages that last a lifetime.
Learn how to “water” your marriage and keep it strong with this in-depth interview! All marriages should strive to be affair proof so that outside influences do not creep in, and our marriages can remain strong.
This interview along with David Green (Hobby Lobby), Brittany Lost (Samson Movie), Jonathon Bock and Phil Cooke can be found in our April issue of Faith Filled Family Magazine. Our next issue comes out this Monday… so don’t miss it!