Truth or Myth: I can be friends with my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife and it will not effect my marriage.
While we like to believe that we are adult enough to handle our spouse’s “old flame”, a twinge of jealousy always exists- if you are honest, anyway. Society teaches us that having a friendship with an “ex” is acceptable, and nothing to be jealous about. Yet this is further from the truth.
When you date someone, there is an intimate tie- no matter how long or brief the relationship may have been. There are memories that the two of you share outside of the relationship that you have with your spouse. These types of ties can make your spouse feel uncomfortable listening to two people talk about shared events that happened in the past.
Additionally, when we discuss past events, it is difficult to separate the emotion out of the event. Most of us tend to relive it making it a dangerous connection. There is also the tendency to be a little drawn to the other individual which can open the relationship up to an affair- especially if they are close friends. Your spouse should be sharing their emotions with you- not an ex.
Even more dangerous is when you share problems in your marriage to someone other than your spouse and begin comparing the two individuals. Transference of emotions can happen innocently enough in these circumstances.
In our next issue, we will discuss in detail the myth that holding on to past relationships is harmless, and go into this topic in further detail. We will also discuss possessive jealousy versus justified jealousy.
For those of you that are experiencing the flip-side of this issue, we will help you convey your emotions to your spouse without being not-so ammusingly labeled as jealous.
Our next issue comes out December 27, 2016Click here for reuse options!
Copyright 2016 Faith Filled Family
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