In our December issue of Harmony in the Family, we discuss how to overcome the passive-aggressive behavior without letting this nicely phrased “slap” get under your skin.
On the surface, people who are passive-aggressive appear to be agreeable. They will not directly tell you no, but they won’t do what they agreed to either. They will procrastinate, or offer excuses as to why it isn’t done when the real reason is that they didn’t want to do it, but didn’t want to directly say no.
They are master procrastinators, and when confronted with a timeline, they will either not do it, or not do it well. If they don’t get it done, they will say that they wanted it to be perfect. If they do it half-heartedly, they will claim that your standards are too high. Either way, it deflects attention off of themselves.
Passive-aggression also manifests in moods as well. The person may be friendly one minute, and very angry the next. When asked, they will say that nothing is wrong- but you know there is. Their behavior puts you on an emotional rollercoaster as you are always guessing what they are upset about.
This type of person doesn’t feel that people should openly express disagreement/anger, so instead they utter words such as “fine” or “whatever” to indicate their displeasure and withdraw. They are closed to communication and discussion.
When passive-aggressive people do communicate, it’s often in a backhanded compliment dripping with sarcasm. Examples are, “Good for you for getting that job despite your lack of qualifications!”, “In my day, we spent time with our children, but I guess you are too busy with your job to have time for that!”, etc. It sounds good/understanding, but it’s really a dig.
Then, when you are upset, they either feign surprise, or say they are joking!
All of us know someone who is like this, and dealing with them without confrontation can be frustrating! Our next issue will guide you through keeping the holiday peace with a person who is determined to look like a saint, but act like the enemy.
Our next issue comes out November 28th.Click here for reuse options!
Copyright 2016 Faith Filled Family
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